He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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