Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
