Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

Bea Arthur died! :(

(214): View more from Texas

What?

(936): View more from Texas

Big bird passed.

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(305): View more from Florida

Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...

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(702): View more from Nevada

oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n

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(315): View more from New York

hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.

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