Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
