I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.