yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.