The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories