Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone