Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
