The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize