i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
