My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
