I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
