He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
