Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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