There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
