we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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