Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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