you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
