look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
