He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
