the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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