I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
