Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
