I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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