Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This is my gift to your gina
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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