I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
