All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i drank out of a bidet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
