I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
