Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
