your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
