We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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