we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
