Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
