I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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