Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
