I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
