Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
