Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
