actually, I'm a sock model
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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