those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
