You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
