i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize