I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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