ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
