she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
