She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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