Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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