she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
