Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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