I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
They left me at home... I'm a liability
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
