I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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