Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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