HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
