We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
