But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
