Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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