1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
