My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
