The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
