Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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