she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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