K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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