what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
