I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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