So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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