I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
