I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
