I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
